50-Minute Hours AKA Vegan Tahini Lime Cookies for my Therapist

"Dr. Crumble: Susanna, four days ago... you chased a bottle of aspirin, with a bottle of vodka.
  Susanna: I had a headache" - Girl, Interrupted.

            For those of you who don’t know, I see a therapist. I also see a psychiatrist, but basically his job is to ask me questions he already knows the answers to and then give me a prescription for pills that he already knows work and then charge for twenty minutes of absolutely nothing.

            The therapist, however, or rather I should say my therapist, because after years of therapy I can say with some confidence that not all therapists are created equal, is awesome. You see, I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, a tad bit of OCD, and yadaa yadda yadda. This is not a woe-is-me thing, this is just a “this is what my therapist helps me deal with thing.”

            Obviously, I’m a little bit embarrassed of announcing all this on the interwebs. Not because of some social stigma against therapy or disorders or whatever. More because I spend an awful lot of time thinking how there are people living in actual, real terror of actual, real things every day, and meanwhile, I’m able to pay money to uncover exactly what in my past triggers my extreme panic in large groups…and why I’m constantly worrying I didn’t lock my doors.

            And yet, even with that knowledge, that knowledge that there are people far worse off than I am, my therapist is never condescending, never brushes things off, never seems to roll her eyes as I try to figure out the root of my upper-middle-class dilemmas. To her, I am someone who is in pain, who doesn’t need to be, and who deserves to be free of it.

            She sits in her office, filled with a small fountain of rocks, interesting wire figures, and intensely bright-colored paintings. Her doorknob is hung with a small pillow, which reads: “Out to Therapy.” It makes me smile.

            She sits with her legs tucked up underneath her and a pad on her lap and we talk back and forth, slowly, but surely digging deeper and deeper into places I sometimes regret inviting her to go. But all the while there’s something so amazing about having a person who is walking right there with you and investing their time in you to make your life just a little bit easier each day.

            So, even if I’m still a bit ashamed by my need to check the lock on my front door three to five times every time I go out, or make sure I have picked the exactly right spoon to eat my cereal with, I am always happy to remember that I have a teammate in my get-well arsenal. And not freaking out to the point of hyperventilating in DC traffic circles is a plus, too.

            This recipe was adapted from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar, a book that is absolutely AWESOME! I suggest baking these while listening to Joni Mitchell and using soft, mood lighting.

INGREDIENTS

-       ½ cup nonhydrogenated vegetable shortening (softened)

-       2/4 cup sugar

-       ½ cup tahini, at room temperature

-       3 to 5 tablespoons of non-dairy milk

-       1 tbsp grated lime zest (for me that was one large lime)

-       1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

-       1 ¼ cups flour

-       2 tbsp cornstarch

-       ½ tsp baking powder

-       ½ tsp salt

-       ¼ cup black sesame seeds for a little pizzazz

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F
2. Use a large mixing bowl to mix together your vegetable shortening and your sugar on medium with a hand mixer. You want the final product to look light and fluffy.
3. Use the hand mixer to beat in the tahini, 3 tbsp of the non-dairy milk, and the lime zest.
4. Mix in the vanilla.
5. Fold in half the flour as well as the cortnstarch, baking powder, and salt using a rubber spatula. Make sure there are no extra powdery bits floating around.
6. Add the remaining flour and then (here comes the fun part) use your hands to really mix the dough together and make sure all the flour and powder has been incorporated.
7. Roll the dough into small, quarter-sized balls. If the dough isn’t sticking together, add 2 more tbsp of non-dairy milk and mix it up some more.
8. Once you’ve rolled the dough into balls, flatten the balls with your hands, then place them onto the parchment-lined baking sheets and flatten them a tiny bit more. (The edges might crack a bit, that’s totally okay)
9. Sprinkle some of those black sesame seeds on the top and then lightly press them into the dough to secure them.
   
   
   
10. Bake for around 12 minutes. When the edges are a little browned you are good to go.
11. Remove the cookies from the oven and let them cool before moving them to a plate or cooling rack.
    
    
    
    
12. Remind yourself that these cookies are not your average sugar cookie and then really let yourself enjoy the different tastes coming from your crispy, chewy creation.

    

    This is one of my cats, Delaney. She was helping with the photography portion of this post.

Til next time,

D