Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Licensing
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I
think not!” – Anonymous
So the name of today’s
dessert actually works on two levels. It’s completely unintentional, because I
didn’t know that certain circumstances would effect this post, but now the
title can be applicable to you in a couple of ways.
First, a friend of
mine invited me to dinner in honor of him passing the test to get his
motorcycle license, which obviously is a chance for another celebratory treat!
When I said I would bake something for the occasion, my
friend’s brother made a joke about me making a Bad-Ass Cake; and while originally it was just a name we all
thought was funny, I later found myself mulling over what ingredients would
possibly constitute a cake to be “Bad-Ass.” It had to be heavy and rich and
full of flavor…and probably booze. So with all of those criteria, now came the
time to put the puzzle together! And so, with a little finessing and mashing up
of different recipes, I think I have put together something that does fit that
bill and earn that name.
Now, that title would’ve been fine all by itself, but
yesterday around 5pm I got a memo under my door saying that all the units would
be sprayed for roaches this Wednesday and we had to clear out the entire
kitchen and bathroom (including cabinets). Not only that, but I had to find
some place to keep my cats from 9am to 4 hours after they finished, which wasn’t specified, so it just meant a day
of keeping cats out of the apartment. Now this totally sent me for a loop
because the dinner was set for Wednesday, I had things to do and I also didn’t
know where you could possibly bring cats to just chill out for a day without, you
know, their litter box, food, etc.
And, while I tried to be as calm as possible as I emptied
out all of my cabinets and cleared my counter (except for what I needed for
this exact recipe) when 1 AM rolled around and I was still tossing and turning,
the only thing that seemed to be calling to me was something sweet. And so, I
ate. I didn’t have anything actually dessert-y, so I had the ends of a loaf of
multigrain bread spread with cream of wheat, honey, sunflower seeds and
blueberries, which doesn’t sound awful for you, but in my mind I was eating 12
pieces of chocolate cake and hating myself for needing something sweet. Even
when I was done, I knew that internally I truly felt better for giving myself a
little “dessert” so-to-speak, but my mind was racing with all of these mean
sayings for how I was ruining my body and was going to double in size by
morning.
And thus, the second
use for the dessert’s name came into play and Bad-Ass Cake now refers to when you actually think of your own ass
as bad. There was an article recently about a mother, who when her daughter
told her she hated her for the first time, the mother brought her a cake, to
prove to her that no matter what the daughter did, the mother would always love
her*. And in that same vain, albeit a little different, this ass, although bad in my eyes at the moment, is the
only one I’ve got, and it deserves to know that my inability to see what’s
truly there doesn’t make it any less awesome. (This goes for all body parts by the way) So, I’m
baking a cake for it.
Now, this recipe does
utilize a mix, but let’s be honest, sometimes a true Bad-Ass needs to take a
quick shortcut in the kitchen so they can get back to their Devil-May-Care
ways. And maybe it’s difficult to let go of the hard feelings towards one’s
posterior, so we can’t give them all
the benefits by making a cake from scratch. So, without further ado, here is my
recipe for:
BAD-ASS CAKE (or, James Dean Cake, for the more
tame-of-heart)
INGREDIENTS
FOR THE CAKE:
- 1
box of Chocolate Fudge Brownie mix (for a 9x13-inch pan)
- 8
ounces cream cheese (softened)
- 14
ounces sweetened condensed milk
- ½
cup creamy peanut butter
- 1/3
cup Kahlua
- 12
ounces Reese’s Pieces candies
FOR THE GANACHE AND TOPPING:
- 12
ounces milk chocolate chips
- 1
tbsp unsalted butter
- 1/3
cup whipping cream
- 2
tbsp Kahlua
- 12
chilled Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, chopped
DIRECTIONS
FOR THE CAKE:
1. Preheat
the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Prepare
a 9x13 pan with cooking spray
3. Prepare
the brownies from the mix according to the package directions. Spread the
batter into the 9x13 pan and set it aside
4. Beat
the 8 oz of softened cream cheese in a large bowl with a hand mixer until it
becomes light and fluffy (and looks like frosting)
5. Add
the sweetened condensed milk, the peanut butter and the Kahlua to the cream
cheese mixture and beat together until it’s all smooth.
6. Gently
fold in the Reese’s Pieces candies
7. Pour
the cream cheese mixture onto the brownie batter and smooth out until it’s even
8. Bake
for 40 minutes. The edges of the cream cheese layer will be golden and pulling
away from the edges of the pan. The center will still be wobbly THAT IS TOTALLY
COOL! Just allow it time to set.
9. Cool
for 30 minutes on a cooling rack, then transfer to the refrigerator and chill
for 30 minutes.
FOR THE GANACHE:
1. Place
the 12 oz of milk chocolate into a medium heat proof bowl
2. Heat
the whipping cream and butter in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to a
boil.
3. Immediately
pour the whipping cream and butter over the chocolate. Whisk together until the
chocolate is melted.
4. Add
the Kahlua to the chocolate and gently whisk it all together
5. Pour
the chocolate mixture over the cheesecake
6. Top
the ganache with chopped up Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (the only way to chop
these suckers without it getting all melty is to chill them in the fridge
first, just FYI)
CUT TO POST EATING
Okay, so here are some of the words people used to describe
this dessert:
“Decadent”
“Addictive”
“Cause for celebration”
“It amazes and astounds with every, single bite”
“Incredible”
“So good it makes my teeth hurt”
“Perfect”
If those endorsements aren’t enough, my boyfriend’s mother
said that she wanted him to serve this to her when she is old and senile to
make her feel happier about her state in life. I’d say that’s pretty high
praise for some chocolate and peanut butter ;)
Til next time,
D
* Here is the article about the mom who got cake for her
daughter:
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